Listen to the poem
When
looking back, I found my days
lay
tangled in untidy heaps,
like
unassorted clothes,
just
washed but with the colours run.
As
when there's one thing
which
turns everything to pinks or blues
my
wednesdays, thurs and fries
looked
just the same as all my tues—
a
slush in retrospect,
perhaps
a glimmer here and there,
but
all the rest unfeatured, unremarked,
an
epidemic of unending undays.
So,
on the first day of the year,
upon
a shore,
I
found a stone and threw it in the sea
and
told
myself
that each day I would
take
one picture in my head
and
keep it polished
so
that they'd all shine bright
as
markers in the fog between my nights.
And
now you ask what did I do
this
first month of the year.
Well,
I suppose I would have said
that
mostly I recall
I
slept and ached
and
pined and worried,
tried
to remember
and
fretfully attempted to forget.
But
then
I
stumble on my picture treasure chest.
It
starts one winter noon—
the
Adriatic green, a thickly newly poured and
frozen
paint. Above the line the sky
starts
from
three
clouds, identical
in
shape,
like
corncob pipes.
In
size, one large,
one
in between, one small.
Below,
almost about to disappear,
a
ship and, flying out to it,
swaying
inside a
quaking
carpet of unrolling wind,
a
train of birds.
Next
come some rusty pears
and
apples inside a wooden bowl;
a
Rothko painting, only red on black,
the
paint which somehow moves
from
place to place;
a
calendar which read December 39th;
a
dog obstructing flow,
stranded
in halfway street
between
two billowing smells;
the
travelling sky at dawn
outside
my window only
minutes
from my bed and sleep;
a
girl upon a bridge shaking her worries
from
her head into a spray of auburn hair;
a
photograph from 1938,
ten
gazes, none the same,
intense
enough combined
to
keep the future hovering, still
an
inch beyond the frame.
And
then,
my
newest friend
a
demoiselle of ten, aglow with smile
as
she ran up to say her first hello.
A
downsideup bird in a tree.
A
waterfall I stared at long enough
my
mind just turned to drops.
A
greeting which was honey for my soul.
A
Dayak hornbill carving, like
a
shriek of wood.
A
seagull landing on a car just next to me
to
wait together for the fishmonger to start his day.
The
dance and song of rain
upon
the roof tiles over which I
swung
my feet.
And
last of all a boy from Africa
spinning
a pirouette so
sudden
and so
bold
it stunned a room
and
made us catch our breath,
like
when you accidentally realise
you've
seen a month of minor miracles.
Phillip Hill 2007
(This poem is included in my book The Observation Car which is available at http://www.lulu.com/content/2588218)